


Into the Five-verse

by runningthroughlightning



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Possibly OOC but I don't care, Season 3 Spoilers, Season 4 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningthroughlightning/pseuds/runningthroughlightning
Summary: “What’s going on?!” he said, to anyone that could answer.“The device is like a portal,” he recognized Five’s voice behind him, distinct with its soft rasp.  “When I fell into it, it searched for my equivalents across the universes.”“So that means…”“Sam,” Jody grinned, now looking positively tickled, “Meet the Fives.”(What would happen if all the Fives met?  A crack!fic inspired by hippyexd and my undying love for Sam.)
Relationships: Runner Five & Sam Yao, Runner Five/Sam Yao
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Into the Five-verse

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fellowship of the Fives](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/698269) by hippyexd. 



> Here it is, folks! The dumbest and most fun thing I've ever written!  
> If you want a soundtrack while reading, listen to this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QxGraK5z91klMT8Da60tI?si=TtL73hjnTS2UfwpFN8hgeQ
> 
> Also, this fic will be very 5am-centric, so if you don't like Sam, you've come to the wrong place.
> 
> I tried to reference at least once everyone who was in hippyexd's video. I apologize that some references may be more subtle than others! I also apologize for any editing and American-related mistakes, (but I mean come on - you guys call pacifiers dummies so who's really in the wrong here.)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Sam knew something was up as soon as he entered Veronica’s laboratory. Besides the general _aura_ of troublemaking, there were three pieces of evidence in his favor: First, he hadn’t seen Veronica all day, even though she said she’d join him for breakfast. Second, a box of cured hams had spilled this morning near the comm shack, and Five’s shepherd dog Chicken Nugget was _not_ immediately all over it. Third and finally, he swore he could hear the voices of a large group of people somewhere in the building. Sam’s first thought was that it was a party, except he had a calendar posted above the comms desk with the birthday and anniversary of every member of Abel. He _knew_ when celebrations were due.

To his surprise, he found Veronica, Five, _and_ Jody in the first lab room. They were all gathered around a large, suspicious looking device in the middle of the room. When he arrived, they spun to face him, shutting up immediately. He knew what “caught red-handed” looked like on each of their faces, but he’d never seen all three at once.

Clearly, they were in kahoots, and he was not involved. Extremely uncool. 

“What’s going on?” he said, trying to sound like how his dad did when he caught Sam playing video games instead of studying.

They looked at each other, then back at Sam. 

“Sam. So glad you’re here. We have some… news,” Jody stuttered. “Um… maybe Veronica should start.”

Veronica folded her arms tightly across herself, like she was preparing to defend why performing Pavlovian psychology experiments on Abel's schoolchildren was actually _educational_ , not horrifyingly unethical.

"Um, Sam. So let's say, hypothetically, I've recently been running tests on the devices we found in that abandoned military bunker."

"The devices Janine explicitly told you not to touch?"

"Yes, those. So, in this hypothetical situation, Five came in with Jody and Chicken Nugget.”

“We were trying to get Chicken Nugget’s tracking collar fixed,” Five explained.

“And, hypothetically, Chicken Nugget got a little… rambunctious, and Five began chasing after him.”

“Okay..."

"And in an unlucky turn of events, Five _hypothetically_ fell into the device and it _may or may not_ have locked onto Five's genome sequence, _possibly_ sending out queries for mimics of her sequence across multiverses..."

"Ronnie."

"...Maybe you should just see for yourself."

They led him to the door at the end of the room, and swung it open. 

He was greeted by the sight of a giant party of people, shouting and cheering and arguing. People were sprawled across the floor, climbing on the shelves, playing hacky sack with a very pleased Chicken Nugget dancing between them. He even saw some poor bloke napping to the side of the room, wearing an oversized t shirt that read ‘Over the Hill!’.

He didn't recognize any of them. He knew that. And yet...

Somehow, they all felt familiar.

Like walking into a surprise party of long-lost childhood friends.

But wait… the person at his right – at least a head smaller than him, in a banana yellow running top and sunglasses – had a band around their arm that had the number Five. So did the person they were talking with, a tall blonde wearing some pretty fantastic neon shoes. So did the group behind them. And the curly haired person hanging from the doorframe had a Five on their shirt. In fact… in some way or another, they _all_ had a five written somewhere on their person. Which meant…

The person nearest to the door, wearing a red cap over their ash blonde hair, turned to him and froze.

"Sam?"

In the next moment, the room silenced. At the mention of his name, every single person turned toward the door. 

Sam swallowed. 

"Er...Hello?"

"SAM!” the cry came from the group, and suddenly he was stampeded by a mass of people. Some talking to him, some signing, some just grabbing his head, like checking to make sure he was real. It was... disorienting.

“What’s going on?!” he said, to anyone that could answer.

“The device is like a portal,” he recognized _his_ Five’s voice behind him, distinct with its soft rasp. “When I fell into it, it searched for my equivalents across the universes.”

“So that means…”

“Sam,” Jody grinned, now looking positively tickled, “Meet the Fives.”

\---

It was absolute chaos. A veritable zoo of Fives, clamoring around Veronica’s lab, chatting, playing, touching things that should _not_ be touched. 

And because Abel couldn’t keep a goddamn secret, Peter, Tom, and Amelia had all magically appeared within minutes to see what was up, like dogs sniffing out meat.

“Explain the situation to me again,” Amelia said suspiciously.

"From what we can gather, they are all Runner Five from Abel, they were all hanging out around Veronica when this happened, and they all have absolutely no idea what's going on," said Jody. 

“So that _tree_ of a human being over there,” Amelia said skeptically, “With that tragedy of a fringe hairstyle. _That’s_ Five.”

“And that Asian supermodel over there. And that grumpy old man with the buzz cut.”

"It's incredible," Veronica said reverently, "Each an entirely different and unique human being. Each called Runner Five. It's like a reverse multiverse."

“This feels like an impending disaster,” Tom frowned.

“No, no, this is so much fun!” Peter crowed. He jumped to stand on a nearby table. “Ahem – Fives? Raise your hand if you’ve been called a gremlin by Janine or Maxine at least once.”

More than half of hands shot in the air.

Peter snickered. “Raise your hand if you were private and quiet when you first arrived, but became ridiculously chummy once you befriended your fellow runners.”

Almost all.

“Oh, I’ve got one!” Jody said. “Raise your hand if you’ve been playing the most ridiculous game of ‘Unrequited Love’ with Sam, even though it’s become _stupidly_ obvious—”

“—Alright! That’s quite enough, Jody!” Sam said quickly, trying not to flush bright red, because he _definitely_ saw a few hands start to move.

“Veronica, this is _delightful_ ,” Amelia decided. “The superstar of Abel runners, and you managed to reproduce fifty of them! Think of the possibilities!”

There was a bang, and the group swiveled to look at the door, where Janine Deluca was now standing, her eyes daggers.

"Would someone explain to me how fifty unauthorized persons just _appeared_ in my township?"

“Janine!” Sam jumped, “Uh, we were just about to invite you?”

Her eyebrow arched.

“Er…" he cleared his throat, "Welcome to the party?”

\---

Janine had them gather in the adjacent lab room to report and regroup.

“So you’re telling me Ms. McShell has somehow teleported an entire battalion of Fives to this universe, and the only thing they have in common is their title.”

“And a complete and utter loyalty to Sam, in one way or another,” Jody muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, what’s that all about?” Sam mused.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Amelia advised.

“Irrelevant,” Janine cut in. “It doesn’t matter how similar or dissimilar they are to each other. What matters is how soon we can get them back to their original timelines.”

Veronica spoke up. “Well, it’s not quite a matter of time, it’s more an inversed parallel universe if anything—”

“Ms. McShell.”

“—But yes, I know. No matter how fascinating the repercussions of this cross-universe tampering, it cannot be reliably studied at this juncture. Don’t worry, Janine. I’m 72% certain can reverse what I’ve done, and return them all to their original planes of existence.”

“How soon?”

“What’s the hurry? They seem to be enjoying themselves,” Amelia said smugly, followed by the sound of a troublesome crash.

The door opened, and Sam glimpsed the source of the noise: a Five wearing a ‘Zombies Hate Fast Food’ t shirt attempting a cartwheel competition (key word: _attempting_ ).

Another Five poked their head out of the door. This one was tall with coffee skin and a shockingly deep voice. “Janine, you wouldn’t happen to have any scissors? One of us was playing around with the duct tape, and—” Their eyes found Amelia, and brightened. “Darling! Aren’t you as gorgeous as ever in every universe.”

Amelia’s face blanched, and her head whipped back to the group. “I changed my mind. Put them back.”

Peter laughed. “Aw, Amelia, love, that Five likes you. Does that mean there are universes where Five goes after _me?”_

Five rolled her eyes. “Don’t get too hopeful, Peter.”

“I can do ten hours,” said Veronica. “Just make sure I’m uninterrupted.”

They assented, and while Veronica fled to do some work _without_ a barrage of Fives in her way, they moved back into the party room, where a Five in a yellow shirt was attempting to begin a limbo competition. And just as Sam was beginning to think about where to corral a herd of Fives for a whole day, there was a siren.

Zombie horde. And, by the message sent over the comms, it was a large one.

Sam winced. Half of their runners were out at New Canton doing a new training regimen. The other twenty were spread out in the field pretty well. It was going to be a pain to call them back.

But at the same time the siren went off, the party of Fives all perked up. It made sense; they all shared the same alarm system. 

“Zombie horde?” a dark-haired Five wearing a NASA t shirt asked.

“Er, yes, but—”

 _We can help!_ Another signed.

“Hold on—”

All at once, the Fives started moving toward the door.

Sam thought about the chaos of Five while on a run, multiplied by fifty, and scrambled to block the door. “Wait! I don’t know if this is a good-“

“They’re no good to us sitting here, are they?” Janine mused. She didn’t wait for an answer. “Runner Fives?”

Fifty faces turned toward her.

“Grab a comm and head to the gate.”

\---

Here’s the thing. They didn’t exactly _have_ fifty extra comms lying around. They had about 20 operational sets (on a _good_ day), and many were already in use at New Canton. 

The Fives seemed unbothered. 

A short but tough looking Five shrugged, and said in a distinctly Bronx accent “Big deal. Talk to one of us through one headset, we’ll make it work.”

And so, in a massive breach of protocol, fifty Fives left the gates with a potpourri of noisemakers, weapons, and tools (he even thought he saw a crowbar strapped to someone’s back).

“This can’t possibly go well!” Sam cried to Janine. “Did you see them a minute ago? The _zombies hordes_ are less chaotic than them.”

“ _That_ one just got distracted by a shiny rock,” Amelia said in agreement.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yes, _thank you,_ Amelia. Though I’m not sure why you need to be here right now.”

Amelia shrugged. “Entertainment.”

He ignored her. “I’m even pretty sure one of them is even singing right now!” he adjusted his comms to find a short-haired Five humming out loud. “I mean, they are singing _surprisingly well_ , for being on a run, but _regardless—”_

“Just stay with me, Mr. Yao. Veronica isn’t the only one who’d like to test a theory,” Janine said.

Sam squinted at her. He knew that face - the tenseness of trying to hide a smug grin, like she had a brilliant plan she was waiting to reveal.

"Janine..." he said slowly. "What are you..."

The Five they had given the headset to was playing heavy metal music through her headphones. Janine cut the music to direct: "The horde is inbound 3 minutes from the south, Five. We want you to meet them at the tree line past that old motorway. Take ten ahead to prep the gully."

"The gully?" Sam said. "Janine, we only use the gully strategy when we have the ammo to take the zombs down. I thought this was decoy duty.”

Janine ignored him. “Enact battle attack 6 Alpha Delta.”

The alter-Five shouted the message to the group, and they split. Sam watched from his bird’s eye view cams as the Fives fell in line, then divided into squadrons.

The zombies came into sight, a group of about sixty.

“Now, Five, put me on speaker. Sam, I’m going to need you to be quiet for this part.”

Sam gave Janine a questioning look.

To his absolute horror, she just winked at him, turned back to the mic, then cleared her throat. “Fives? Fives! We have an issue! We don’t know where Sam is. We think he might be outside of the township! We think we see him running toward the horde! If you don’t eliminate this horde, they’ll run right into him! We’ve got no other options! Shut them down, _now.”_

And she shut the comms off.

The next sixty seconds were _legendary_. They operated like a well-oiled machine… if the machine was designed to go haywire. 

They moved like lightning, like a wave – unpredictable but powerful, flowing over and around each other. Each Five had their own run pattern, preferred weapon, style of attack. It should’ve been a mess, but it worked amazingly, because they all just seemed to _know_. Like sharing one train of thought, they flowed around and between each other, combining to attack and then breaking off to evade. 

Sam knew what it looked like when one runner spent years alongside another. They moved smoothly between each other, didn’t have to talk much. They shared and executed ideas with a single glance. 

This was that – times fifty. This was…

“Unbelievable,” Janine said, breathlessly. “Although, I suppose it make sense. What could be a better team, than different versions of yourself?”

“Is that runner over there doing Muay Thai?” Amelia asked incredulously. “Very impressive.”

“Meanwhile, that one in the white and green hoodie’s just swinging an ax like a frickin’ party piñata!” Sam laughed.

The fight didn’t last more than ten minutes. When the last Five wiped her knife clean, and adjusted the yellow ribbon in her hair, they all seemed to take a breath. 

“Well,” said a Five wearing a medallion necklace, “That was fun!”

“Indeed,” Janine said. “You can come on home now. Sam is just fine.”

And when she turned off the mic, both Amelia and she turned back to him, with matching smug grins.

“What.” he demanded.

“They sure worked fast after hearing about _you_ , Mr. Yao.”

“Well, aren’t _you_ clever,” Sam tried to grumble, and brought his tea mug to his lips to hide his blush.

\---

When the Fives came back from decoy duty, it was chaos, but in the most magical way. Sam knew he probably should’ve been corralling them into one building, making a list and making sure no stray alter-Five went missing, but he was overwhelmed with a desire to just watch.

In the initial confusion, the Fives had been a little chaotic neutral. Now, (they were still chaotic but), they were all on one wave-length. 

Some Fives rushed toward the kitchens; others jumped in Abel's lake. Some conspired to play a game of beach volleyball. The energy was addictive.

The Five's weren't all the same. Some bounced around the township like Energizer Bunnies, some gathered near the track to cool down, some sat back in silence, watched with eyes that looked a little bittersweet and tired, happy to bask in the amicable chatter. 

Still, in some way, every Five looked comfortable, joyful. Like pulling on an old childhood hoodie, like sinking into your childhood bed, like a family reunion on New Years.

Dear God, that was it. It was a family reunion.

On his way back from the comms shack, a tiny Five with bright blue eyes dashed past him, their loose blonde hair streaming behind as they cackled. They were followed by another Five with curly brown hair, who was holding… was that a _human hand?_

The source came dashing by two moments later: a very disgruntled Peter looking piping mad. “Sam, I swear to God. Did you see two absolute goblins run by here with my hand? It fell off again and you _know_ how long it takes to regrow.”

At his non-response, Peter sighed and said, “Well anyway, Jenny wants you to help with food prep in the kitchens.”

Sam caught a group in the rec room on his way there, somehow already ten rolls into a DnD game. A Five with short hair, round glasses, and a mean-looking scar across their face (that would’ve made anyone else look threatening if it wasn’t accompanied by a Swedish accent), invited him to join. 

He was sad to decline them, but knew Janine would have his head if he didn’t help with the dinner prep. 

“Sam,” the other Five asked, “before you go – how does the library look in this universe?”

“The what?”

“You know, that room in Janine’s farmhouse we converted? Does this universe have Lord of the Rings?”

“Uh, I don’t remember any converted room. You mean those dusty shelves with all the military books?”

The Five looked devastated. “Oh my God. You don’t even have the library. This poor Five.”

When dinnertime hit, there wasn’t enough room in the dining hall to fit the Fives, so they gathered around the outdoor bonfire instead, and paper plates were handed out. 

A dark skinned Five with stunning green eyes somehow procured a guitar, and began to strum. Some Fives began to hum along. If you squinted, it almost looked normal. A pre-apocalypse summer night, a bonfire with friends.

It was so nice, so fun, that when Veronica called them all back an hour later, Sam felt vaguely betrayed.

The Fives gathered around the very Avengers-esque portal with a good amount of caution. Sam didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t want to walk through that flickering green forcefield either.

Fortunately, a badass looking Five, who had been conversing with another Five in what Sam thought might be Hindi, stepped forward calmly. “I’ll go first.”

She turned to Sam and Janine, saluting. “Thank you for hosting us. It’s nice to know you are here to help in every universe.” She also eyed Sam, with eyes that felt a little _too_ intimate (or maybe he was just intimated by the many weapons strapped across her chest, and the fact that he had seen her take out three zombs with some serious-looking Jiu Jiutsu). “I’ll see you again soon.”

She stepped through the portal, and with a series of sparks, she was gone.

The rest of the Fives went in a similar way after that, sometimes hugging goodbye, sometimes just giving a short wave. (Sam was both delighted and stunned to see the tired looking Five with the shaggy blonde hair and ridiculous t shirt give Amelia a furtive last look before he stepped through.)

It was actually kind of sad when the last Five left (a meme of a person with a white hoodie and two-toned hair, who hugged Sam fiercely and then fingered-gunned their way backward into the portal).

The sun had been setting for a while now, but it was only when they left the lab that the quiet peace of the night hit him. It was a beautiful summer twilight, the air smelling abnormally non-rotting, the warmth of the day settling into the earth. 

“Well that was… fun,” he said out loud, mostly to himself. “I’m gonna miss em. How about you, Five?”

Five nodded reticently, smiling at the ground. “I, uh – I should probably go, though. I’m assigned to wash dishes tonight.”

She glanced at him, then back to the ground. “See you – you guys later.”

He probably watched her leave for a little too long, because he jumped when Peter cleared his throat beside him.

"Oh. I forgot you were, um.."

Peter was giving him A Look.

"Sam. My chum. My mate. Please, for all that is good, use this to your advantage."

And he turned heel and left.

Sam felt his cheeks burn, standing alone, and thought about how happy Five looked today, quietly conversing with a Five with poems scribbled across their arms. He thought about the one or two Fives he saw today, with wedding bands on their fingers or hung around their necks. Thought about how, in every iteration, across every universe, Five was there for him. He turned back to this universe’s Five, who was disappearing into the night.

He took a deep breath, and ran after her.

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to leave comments!


End file.
